Okay, so i was little emotional in my last post (see B.A.Ns). And with very good reason-I gets no respect!
I love me some Aretha and because she is the Queen, you gots to know that the greatest female anthem of all time is “Respect”. As her highness commands, “….R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Take care, TCB…” She says “…find out what it means to me” ; let’s analyze that fragmented sentence, shall we? What does respect mean? Well, according to Dictionary.com, you have about 16 definitions to choose from. Number 4 is what respect means to me:
re·spect:-noun 4. deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: EXAMPLE: respect for a suspect’s right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.
Your ex once held the highest position in your love life. He or she was the ”IT” person during the course of your relationship. Some shit happened and now, they cant even get a spot in your address book, let alone your life. And that’s perfectly fine. In fact, that’s how it should be. I simply don’t accept that “remaining friends” crap, even if you did part ways on good terms. Leave the relationship as well as that person in the past and be done. period.
But something different takes place when you and that ex have the mutual responsibility of raising a child together. Though you may grow to absolutely despise this person that you once adored, the objective now becomes to remain as cordial as possible in your interaction with them for the child’s sake. Having an interesting talk with a woman I affectionately refer to as my sister-in-law, although she hasn’t “been” with my brother for quite some time, she made some awesome points as it relates to this subject. Janita says: ” It all comes down to respect. You don’t have to like me and I don’t have to like you but for the sake of kids, respect is needed. Don’t care who you’re with or what you’re doing; it doesn’t bother me at all. All those times when I looked out for our child, struggled with our child, the least I deserve is respect. Those times when you didn’t come through for our child and I was forced to make my own way, that deserves your respect.”
WELL SAID SIS!
Bottom line, it wont be the easiest relationship to have. And it can get really ugly really fast. But as long as you have respect for the person whom you put in a privileged position of a co-parent to your child(ren), whether you regret it or not, it should make the relationship easier to have.
Like Will and Jada’s relationship with Will’s first son’s mother being invited to Christmas and Easter and shit, or Bruce and Demi taking snap shots alongside her new hubby Ashton, or even like Janita and my brother, mutual respect for each other’s position can take it to a whole new level in child rearing if you allow it.
Sock it to me!!!
